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Wayne Post
  • Anne Palumbo: Why I love my ‘dumb’ phone

  • I need a new cellphone.   My ancient flip phone fell into the toilet.

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  • I need a new cellphone.   My ancient flip phone fell into the toilet.
    When a friend found out, she asked, “Are you going to get a smartphone or are you going to stick with that dumb phone of yours?”
    She asked this question, by the way, with her hand on her hip and her lips drawn taut like a critical auntie. 
    I told her I was mulling the issue and would get back to her.
    After some serious thought about who I really am, where I see myself in the near future, what contributions I would like to make in this lifetime, and what I would seriously do with all the smart stuff a smartphone has to offer, well, I have decided to stick with a dumb phone.
    I have my reasons, which, if I may say so myself, are quite brilliant.
    To begin, I’ll continue to save several hundred dollars a year by sticking with a dopey phone and its basic plan.   Since my career doesn’t depend on Internet connectivity and since I don’t really care about breaking news or stock updates or Angry Birds, I’m good with waiting until I am parked in front of the TV or at my desk PC for whatever information or entertainment I need.
    Two, no one will ever try to steal ol’ Celler out of my unsuspecting hands.  No one.  Thieves will take one look at my lame-o phone and redirect.  Best of all, the very fact of my dumb phone may thwart a mugging altogether.  “Nah, let’s not bother; she’s clearly hit skid row. Poor thing.”
    Three, I’ll stand a better chance of maintaining my posture, since I won’t be hunched over my phone, emailing this or reading that, uploading this or downloading that.  Seriously, I worry about where our necks are headed.   When I’m on a bus or in a theater, all I see is a sea of sloped-neck pelicans.
    Four, I’ll be more likely to live in the moment.   Without the distraction of a smartphone and all its snazzy Apps, not to mention its access to silly videos, gossipy websites and Facebook, I’ll focus more on what I’m doing and who I’m with, whether it’s taking a walk in the woods or shooting the breeze with a neighbor.
    And finally, I’ll not be so easy to reach, which I like.   It’s not that I’m in the Witness Protection Program or have creditors breathing down my neck, it’s simply that I’m a rather monkish person who withers under too much contact from too many sources who are seeking something pronto.
    On the flip side, I know I’m not keeping up with technology and that’s never good.   But what can I say?  Oh, I know.  Doh!

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