Have you ever wondered whether or not a bandage would be sufficient treatment for your illness or injury? Well, don’t worry — the good folks at Band-Aid have got you covered. Each box of Band-Aid bandages bears the following message: “For medical emergencies seek professional help.” Well, thank goodness — I can imagine how many problems that’s solved. After all, I think it’s better to be overly cautious than not cautious enough.
Have you ever wondered whether or not a bandage would be sufficient treatment for your illness or injury? Well, don’t worry — the good folks at Band-Aid have got you covered.
Each box of Band-Aid bandages bears the following message: “For medical emergencies seek professional help.”
Well, thank goodness — I can imagine how many problems that’s solved.
“Oh God, Timmy’s broken his leg!”
“Quick, get the Band-Aids!”
“No, wait! It says to seek professional help!”
Of course, some people might turn to Band-Aids and other home remedies to avoid the government’s “death panels” (more on that later), but I’m guessing the majority of people know when a bandage is not sufficient treatment. I suppose the folks at Band-Aid just want to protect themselves from liability in the event that someone learns the hard way that bandages are not a miracle cure.
After all, I think it’s better to be overly cautious than not cautious enough.
For example, I’ve seen signs in rest areas on Interstate 55 urging motorists to prevent “Wreck-less Driving.” Think about that for a moment.
It’s a great idea to avoid “reckless driving,” but wouldn’t successfully doing so result in “wreck-less driving,” or driving in which there are no wrecks?
I’m guessing that slogan was written by a well-meaning group of people who failed to realize its implications. It happens with newspaper headlines all the time — like “Prostitutes appeal to pope.”
Those kinds of mistakes are forgivable because it’s easy to understand how they were made, but sometimes people say or do things that leave me truly baffled.
Like everyone’s favorite nut, former Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who recently launched a new Web site at governorrod.com. “Since his controversial ousting from office, Rod Blagojevich has refused to be silent,” the site says. Yeah, too bad.
Blago Boosters can visit the site to read up on “Lightning ‘Rod’ ” issues and “Tell Rod what’s bugging you.” The site also advertises the former governor’s many public engagements and provides instructions on how to book him. Judging from a YouTube video of a recent paid appearance in which Rod butchers Elvis’ “Treat Me Nice” and pals around with a Fabio impersonator, I probably won’t be booking him for any of my events any time soon.
However, I do have a question for Rod: What is the matter with you? Do you really think that your outrageous antics are going to do anything to help your case? Or are you so deluded that you aren’t worried about the serious charges and incriminating evidence against you?
While I think Blagojevich must suffer from some sort of mental problem, others seem like they should know better — like Fox News commentator Glenn Beck.
On a July appearance on Fox, he called President Obama “a guy … who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture …” before saying, about a minute and a half later, “I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people …”
Really? Because it sounds like that’s exactly what you said. Perhaps you should think things through a little bit, Glenn.
Of course, spouting out some off-the-cuff crazy is not quite as bad as thinking that crazy through, writing it down and posting it online.
That’s what Sarah Palin did when she posted the following note on her Facebook profile: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”
She drew this conclusion from a section of the bill that says health practitioners would provide “ an explanation … of the continuum of end-of-life services and supports available, including palliative care and hospice, and benefits for such services and supports that are available …”
I fail to see how counseling about hospice care translates into killing old people and babies. Either Sarah Palin is just a dope, or she’s using scare tactics to generate opposition to health care reform. Either way, she should stop posting nonsense on her Facebook page.
Ms. Palin, may I offer you a Band-Aid to help you keep your mouth shut?
Pekin Daily Times city editor Amanda Jacobs can be reached at (309) 346-1111 or email@example.com.