More than two weeks have passed since the municipal elections, which means that every race has been settled and we know exactly who will represent us for the next four years. We’re kidding, of course. Everyone knows that any good election isn’t over until the lawyers get involved.
More than two weeks have passed since the municipal elections, which means that every race has been settled and we know exactly who will represent us for the next four years.
We’re kidding, of course. Everyone knows that any good election isn’t over until the lawyers get involved.
But, state law mandates — and here, we side with the lawmakers — that lawyers must wait until voters clear the election sites before they (the lawyers) get in there and start telling judges how people voted, how they should have voted, or how they would have voted had they not been hit by the opposition’s campaign bus on the way to the polls.
But in Boone County an election nearly ended in an even better way — and I mean better for journalists who need something interesting to happen in an otherwise mundane election.
With two absentee ballots yet to be counted, and a two-vote difference between Belvidere Township assessor candidates, many were anticipating a tie. State law mandates that a tie be broken by a drinking contest.
We’re kidding, of course. Though the real method is equally ridiculous. The real state law is that a tie be broken by lot, usually a coin flip.
I’m all for letting a coin flip decide truly important things, like which team receives the kick-off in overtime, but I have suggestions for alternatives in elections:
You put the two candidates’ names alternating on a giant “Price is Right” wheel. Whichever name it lands on is the winner. Just to make things interesting, you also leave a space for “spin again,” “none of the above” and “Gary Coleman.”
You take two cups, each with the name of a candidate on it, and place them next to a pool. Then you have Ralphie May — or an equally rotund celebrity — do a cannonball off the diving board. The cup with the most water in it wins the election. This will be especially fun if the election happens in winter.
Dance off. Whoever gets served loses.
Now, the only problem is picking one of these methods. Does anyone have a coin?
Kevin Haas thinks anyone who wins by a coin flip should use the slogan “that’s using your heads” for their re-election campaign. He can be reached at (815) 544-3452 or email@example.com.